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<p>Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones, the fifth movie created in the Star Wars saga, but the second in the fictional timeline.</p> <p> </p> <p>The film opens with a narrative explaining the "several thousand solar systems have declared their intentions to leave the Republic." Amidala, formerly the Queen of the planet Naboo is now a senator in the Galactic Senate, and is going there to vote on the creation of an "Army of the Republic." (Evidently up until now, there has been on Army, only the small organization of Jedi Knights who have been keeping the peace.) Upon landing, an explosion kills her body-double Corday, and Chancellor Palpatine recommends that Amidala be placed under Jedi protection. Obi-Wan Kanobi and his pupil Anakin "Ani" Skywalker are selected to be her protectors. Ani wants to seek out the murderer, while Obi-Wan berates him for being over-zealous.</p> <p>Watch it on YouTube <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxqxF7xfwLs&feature=related">Part 1</a></p> <p> </p> <p>The next scene we see briefly the conspirators discussing how to try to kill Amidala next. Then the scene shifts to a conversation between Obi-Wan and Anakin over the protection of Amidala. They are speaking outside the chamber in which she is asleep, with R2-D2 watching over her. We learn that Anakin is in love with Amidala but disturbed by dreams of his mother. While they are talking, a droid is hovering outside the window of Amidala's sleeping chamber, and introduces to the room some nasty looking giant poisonous millipedes. Of course they immediately slither right into her bed. The two Jedi sense the creatures before they can strike. They rush into the room and destroy them and Obi-Wan leaping through the window grabs the droid and flies off hanging from it. Anakin jumps into a "speeder" (a flying car) and races out looking for Obi-Wan. A sniper shoots at the droid and Obi causing Obi to fall and Anakin shows up just in time to race under him and catch him in the speeder. They then go racing after something. Apparently either the droid or the sniper. After a two-minute chase, Anakin suddenly jumps from the speeder and falls quite a distance but lands on the sniper's speeder. There is then a mid-air speeding scene of him hanging on to the outside as the sniper tries to shake him off the speeder. Watch it on YouTube <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0M16jLl-k2c&NR=1">Part 2</a></p> <p> </p> <p>After much struggle, the speeder is now damaged and starts to descend erratically. Anakin falls off and the speeder crashes. Now they start a street chase. The sniper ducks into a nightclub and Anakin and now Obi-Wan follow. At this point Obi-Wan prophetically proclaims to Anakin, "Why do I think you're going to be the death of me?" They find the sniper when she tries to kill Obi-Wan, but he wounds her instead. Just as she is about to name her bounty-hunter employer, she is herself killed by a toxic dart shot from afar. The Jedi Council now instructs Obi-Wan to track down the bounty-hunter while Anakin protects Amidala and escorts her back to Naboo. At this point she is called the "leader of the opposition". Obi-Wan is unsure it is wise to give Anakin this assignment but here we learn that, "If the prophecy is true, your apprentice is the only one who can bring the Force back into balance." There is now a scene where Amidale assigns her Senate duties to Jar-Jar Binks and then follows an interchange between Anakin and Amidala where she expresses her displeasure to Anakin at being required to return to her planet. Anakin expresses his resentment at Obi-Wan, "He's overly critical, he never listens, he doesn't understand. It's not fair." Amidala knows that Anakin wants her sexually, but she puts him off, "Please don't look at me like that," she says, "It makes me feel uncomfortable." (A great set-up to tell us that yes, they will indeed "get busy" later on.)</p> <p>Watch it on YouTube <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKBWejBOw6E&feature=related">Part 3</a></p> <p> </p> <p>Anakin and Amidala now leave with their sidekick R2-D2. Now the scene shifts to Obi-Wan in a diner where he meets an old friend, who identifies for him the dart thingie that killed the sniper lady. He identifies it as coming from a planetary system Kamena, but when Obi-Wan tries to find such a place in the "Archives", the records only show a void in that spot. He makes the mistake of saying to the prototypical "spinster librarian" that, "Perhaps the Archives Records are incomplete". She aloofly tells him that, "If an item does not appear in our records, it does not exist." (But of course we all know where this is going.) However, a later scene with Yoda points out that the file information was probably erased, "Only a Jedi could have erased those files, but who? and why? Harder to answer." There is a scene between Anakin and Amidala where she tells him she thought it was forbidden for a Jedi to fall in love, and he informs her that no, it's not. (More set-up here.) Now we have another scene between Anakin and Amidala where we learn that her term as "Queen" was an elected position. A scene between Amidala and the Queen back on Naboo, now introduces the "Trade Federation" as another player in the conflict.</p> <p>Watch it on YouTube <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3R39KQjuGHE&feature=related">Part 4</a></p> <p> </p> <p>The new Queen of Naboo now states that we must continue to believe that the Republic can work. "The day we stop believing Democracy can work, is the day we lose it." Obi-Wan takes a flyer and goes in search of his missing planet, and finds it right where it should be. He learns to his astonishment that he has been expected there for years. Apparently Jedi Master Cyphodias, now dead for ten years, had earlier commissioned an army of clones to be the "Army of the Republic" and they are now ready. Now we return to Anakin and Amidala at a seashore villa where they talk and finally kiss. Back on Kamena, Obi-Wan is given a tour of the clone army and learns that they are all clones of the bounty hunter Janga Phet who is still living there. Again back to Anakin and Amidala where in a heart-to-heart talk he espouses his belief that the political system would be better as a dictatorship.</p> <p>Watch it on YouTube <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNBC_HLAetM&NR=1">Part 5</a></p> <p> </p> <p>Anakin then rides around on a giant pig and falls off. Back on Kamena, Obi-Wan meets Janga Phet, a slimy sort of character and they both express suspicion of the other. Janga Phet then arranges to flee the planet. Meanwhile Anakin is falling deeping in love with Amidala, who is keeping him at an emotional distance. Obi-Wan now sends a report back to Yoda and that black Jedi Council member about the cloned army. Yoda tells Obi-Wan to bring the bounter-hunter to the Council. They are surprised and discuss whether they should tell the Senate that their ability to use the Force has been diminished. Yoda says, "Only the Dark Lord of the Sith knows of our darkness. If informed the Senate is, multiply our adversaries will."</p> <p>Watch it on YouTube <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJAkafpSkAE&feature=related">Part 6</a></p> <p> </p> <p>Anakin has a nightmare, where he sees his mother suffering. He decides he must go to her, and Amidala decides to go with him. Meanwhile Obi-Wan finds the bounty hunter Janga Phet trying to flee the planet, and they have a gun battle. After a bit of this, Obi-Wan ends up falling off the building but then getting back inside again. Just as Janga is taking off in his spacecraft, Obi-Wan throws something which attaches itself to the outer shell (tracking device? bomb?). Next we see Anakin and Amidala on his home planet Tatooine, where he meets-up with his old owner/employer. But Ani's mother is no longer there, she was sold years before. Returning to Obi-Wan, he is tracking Janga Phet, but is found-out and a chase ensues with explosions, shooting and what-not. Probably a very useful set-up for the video game version. A homing missile is on their tail, but Obi instructs R4 to fire some "spare part canisters" which confuse the missile causing it to explode.</p> <p>Watch it on YouTube <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5P1zK3AamU&NR=1">Part 7</a></p> <p> </p> <p>Of couse, Janga Phet thinks the explosion he sees is Obi-Wan's death, and so continues on to his destination, but really he is still being tracked by Obi-Wan who follows him down to a planet where, "There are a large concentration of Federation ships." Meanwhile Amidala and Anakin have tracked his mother to a small farm, where he meets up again with C-3PO, and learns that his mother Shmi Skywalker has married to a widower Cleve Lars who has children from his previous marriage. He learns that his mother was taken a month ago by Tuscan raiders. Now Anakin goes out in search of her, while Amidala stays with the Lars family on their farm. Meanwhile Obi-Wan is wandering around a giant cathedral where hidden he finds an assembly line for making droids. He overhears their plans, one guy says, "We must persuade the Commerce Guild and the Corporate Alliance to sign the treaty." The other guy says, "What about the senator from Naboo? Is she dead yet? I'm not signing your treaty until I have her head on my desk." The first guy says, "I am a man of my word Viceroy." So now we learn who is partly behind the conspiracy. "The Banking Clan will sign your treaty" "Our friends from the Trade Federation have placed their support." Anakin now tracks the raiders to their camp and finds his beaten and exhausted mother as a captive.</p> <p>Watch it on YouTube <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o1aRP2eYP8&feature=related">Part 8</a></p> <p> </p> <p>Anakin finds his mother, but she dies in his arms. His rage is overwhelming and he decimates the camp. Even Yoda can feel the disturbance, "Young Skywalker is in pain. Terrible pain!" Obi-Wan is too far out-of-range to send a signal back to the Senate planet Corisant so instead he tries to raise Anakin on Naboo but discovers instead that his tracking signal is now on Tatooine. "What the blazes is he doing there?" But meanwhile Ani is carrying his mother's body back to the farm. "Why couldn't I save her?", he asks, "I could have, I know I could." Amidala responds, "Sometimes there are things no one can fix. You're not all-powerful". "Well I should be!", he exclaims. This sequence was designed to show us the motive behind his later descent into the persona of Darth Vadar. He blames Obi-Wan for "holding me back". Amidala incongrously replies at this point, "What's wrong Ani?" Then we learn that he wiped out all the people in the camp, men, women and children. "They're animals! And I slaughtered them like animals!" Next is the funeral of Shmi. R2-D2 shows up and C-3PO interprets that he is carrying a message from Obi-Wan Kenobi. We now learn the planet where the droids are being created is called Geanosis, but also that Obi-Wan is under attack. The Jedi Council tells Anakin to stay where he is and protect the Senator. She however tries to persuade him that they have to go rescue Obi-Wan.</p> <p>Watch it on YouTube <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdWMPNZM_8Q&feature=related">Part 9</a></p> <p> </p> <p>Amidala, being a spirited wench of course, forces Ani's hand, "He gave you orders to protect me, and I'm going to save Obi-Wan. If you plan to protect me, you'll just have to come along." So they all take off, with R2-D2 and C-3PO as well. Now back on Corisont, the Chancellor's council is plotting to get the Senate to grant the Chancellor emergency powers so he can authorize the Clone Army. Back on Geanosis, Obi-Wan held in a stasis field, holds a conversation with Dooku. He informs him that the Republic is "now under the control of the Dark Lord of the Sith." "No that's not possible", Obi-Wan says, "the Jedi would be aware of it." Dooku wants Obi-Wan to join him, but Obi-Wan refuses. Back in the Senate, Jar-Jar Binks moves that the Senate should give the Chancellor emergency powers to which the Chancellor responds, "The power you give me I will lay down when this crisis has abated." (We all know how that usually turns out.) The Chancellor now authorizes the raising of a Grand Army for the Republic. (Hmmm sound familiar?) Yoda now leaves for Kameno. Amidala and Ani now land on Geanosis, and leave the ship. R2-D2 and C-3PO argue about following them but finally R2 just does so, and C-3PO follows. And here we get another great video-game sequence where Amidala and Ani fall onto the droid-maker conveyor belt and have to dodge the creatures and machines.</p> <p>Watch it on YouTube <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMa3gftwfkc&feature=related">Part 10</a></p> <p> </p> <p>Amidala, Ani, R2-D2 and C-3PO have more adventures on the droid conveyor belt. C-3PO gets decapitated and his head placed on one droid body, while his body gets a new droid head. Amidala is trapped in a smelting bucket, and Ani gets his arms stuck in a casing welded to a large piece of metal. R2-D2 manages to link-into the computer system and make the bucket that Amidala is in get dropped, and she rolls out unharmed. Ani is freed from the conveyor belt but then surrounded by flying creatures, and a bounty hunter with a gun. Ani and Amidala are now prisoners and she tells him that she loves him. They are then led out onto the floor of a large open coliseum where they, along with Obi-Wan are about to be executed. Several nasty creatures come out including a giant rhinocerous thing, a big spider type thing, and a giant lizard. Meanwhile Amidala who has somehow gotten a pick, starts updoing her handcuffs. After much fighting and such with the creatures, Ani manages to mind-control the big rhino creature and they all get on its back and ride around.</p> <p>Watch it on YouTube <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBkyIUJNwug&NR=1">Part 11</a></p> <p> </p> <p>Now the captives are surrounded by a group of battle droids, but the Jedi knights show up to take on the Seperatists council. And we get another large battle sequence with lots of Jedi and droids and creatures. The bounty hunter is killed by that black Jedi Council member (whatever his name is). R2 shows up and pulls C-3PO's head off the droid body and reattaches it to his correct body. Suddenly the droids all stand-down while the evil Dooko tries to get the Jedi to surrender. The black Jedi I guess is called something like Window? At any rate he refuses to have the Jedi surrender. Suddenly, some more spacecraft appear. It's Yoda with a bunch of Stormtroopers, and they attack the droids, and rescue the Jedi, but leaving R2-D2 and C-3PO behind. Now we see Boba Phet with his father's helmet? head? (a bit grotesque?). The Seperatists are stunned, "How could the Jedi have come up with an army so quickly?"</p> <p>Watch it on YouTube <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ank5OFjNTNw&feature=related">Part 12</a></p> <p> </p> <p>Lots of battle scenes with the Republic's clone army battling the Seperatist's droid army. In a scene with Douku we find out that he also has a Master who we don't know yet. He is going to smuggle the "designs for the ultimate weapon" out of the battle so they won't be found by the Jedi. But Obi-Wan and Anakin spot Dooku trying to escape and follow him. During the battle, Amidala falls to the desert below, and Anakin and Obi-Wan argue over whether to rescue her or continue following Dokoo. Anakin exclaims, "I can't leave her!" "What would she do if she were in your position?", replies Obi-Wan. "She would do her duty", says Anakin. And so they continue and find Dukuu in a cave. Anakin impulsively rushes him and is felled and knocked-out by lightning bolts that shoot from Dokoo's fingertips. "As you can see my Jedi powers are far beyond yours", says Duukuu to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan and Cookoo now fight and Obi is hurt. Anakin wakes up and fights Poopoo for a while until the audience is screaming "We're DONE!". So finally he cuts off Anakin's arm at the elbow. Just then Yoda saunters in, and Count TouCoo starts throwing large metal objects at him, which of course Yoda casts aside. Then weePoo tries to make the ceiling fall on Yoda, but Yoda casts that aside as well. Just when you think you're watching <em>Clash of the Titans</em>, we finally get some more dialogue. "I've become more powerful than any Jedi", says MincedDoo.</p> <p>Watch it on YouTube <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMtIDA9u0gQ&feature=related">Part 13</a></p> <p> </p> <p>Then Dooku and Yoda start exchanging lightning bolts, then fight with light sabers. Yoda does lots of pointless acrobatic tricks during this sequence. Dooko taking advantage of actually making sense, tries to drop something onto the still-prostrate bodies of Anakin and Obi-Wan and then escapes while Yoda is distracted trying to prevent them from becoming flat versions. Just then, Amidala shows up and fires after the fleeing spacecraft of Dooko to no avail. Now Dooku escapes and returns to Lord Sidious his master, who we recognized as the same guy who later became the Emperor. The plans he is carrying are for the Death Star, which has yet to be built. Obi-Wan thinks they have achieved a great victory, but Yoda says no, this is only the beginning of the Clone War! Then we see images of huge armies and spacecraft with Dooko standing on a balcony viewing them.</p> <p>Watch it on YouTube <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LglyrICYFbE&NR=1">Part 14</a></p>
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