How to catch the Swine Flu

How do I avoid catching the Swine Flu?

How can you catch or not catch the Swine Flu? Tell me quick I'm all panicked!


This article is my own personal opinion.  I am not a medical doctor.  I'm just a self-proclaimed know-it-all who has had various types of flu about two dozen times! (Your mileage may vary.)

Don't Panic

The Swine Flu is a... flu.  It is not a cold.  You do not usually catch it from people coughing.  Why?  Because when you have a flu you do not usually cough.  The flu is something that gives you a fever, and you feel sick to your stomach.  Sweats, chills.  Come on, you've had the flu before.  You don't cough, you puke.  So avoid people puking.

No but seriously.  You catch a flu by being close to someone else who has the flu.  You can live in the same house as a person with the flu, care for them, and not get the flu.  So chill out!  It's not any easier to catch the Swine Flu than it is to catch any other flu.  And you know what? If someone you care for gets the Swine Flu, then care for them.  Don't run from the house screaming.

But What About....?

Although the CDC website mentions coughing, as one of many potential symptoms, this is not because a flu causes a cough.  It is because a flu weakens your body so that you also might get a throat infection.  Humans are notoriously prone to throat problems.  Many sicknesses, will also cause you to develop a sore throat, itchy throat, or cough.  There are many germs out there just waiting to get their hands on your throat.  They like to hitchhike with other illnesses to attack you when you're weak.  A cough is a rare symptom of a flu, just ask anyone who had had a flu three times or more.  The vast majority of people coughing (99.98%) are doing so because of allergies, minor throat irritation, and colds.  People with the Swine Flu are contagious to people who get close to them by touching, kissing, having sex.  Wash your hands, and stop having sex.  Coughing or breathing has little to do with catching the flu.  (Someday they will declare me a genius I just know it.)  People wearing face masks are like people wearing face masks during a nuclear attack.  It's not going to do any good.  If the germ comes in with your breath, then it's probably small enough to get through that dumb mask.

Okay but what about... ?

People who get the flu don't usually go out for a shopping and dining trip.  Generally when you get the flu, all you want to do is sleep, puke, sweat and poop.  That explains why flu's are usually confined to only a few people.  So if you're out somewhere and someone coughs, look at them.  If they seem like they are weak, feverish and about to collapse, that's one thing.  If they seem fine, other than a cough, they don't have the flu.  You cannot get the Swine Flu from eating pork! (That's just dumb.)  You also don't generally get it from even being around pigs.  If you work closely with pigs -- like if you're a Chinese rice planter, than maybe.  But hey, you're not.  So relax.

You do not get the Swine Flu from eating fruits and vegetables handled by pig farmers, or even pigs for that matter.  You do not get the Swine Flu from touching packages touched by people with the Swine Flu.  You get the Swine Flu... from... people.  Direct, physical contact, with another person.  No other method.  None.  Not one.  Ok go wash your hands anyway.

And in conclusion

The Swine Flu, like any other flu is rarely fatal.  Read that again please.  It is rare that someone dies from the flu, swine or any other type.  You can have 800 cases of flu and 5 people might die.  Generally these are people who already have weakened immune systems.  Any other speculation about it, is not only idle but ridiculously dangerous.  So if you have a weakened immune system -- for example you are old and frail, a tiny baby, or a person with AIDS -- then you might want to get a flu shot.  Otherwise, it's a grand waste of money.  But hey if it makes you feel better.

I just coughed, so you might want to go wash your hands after reading this article.

P.S. Newspapers and other media outlets are in the business to sell their stories.  That's right.  News flash.  They are going to hype, hype, hype because they want you, the consumer, to .... buy.

Wjhonson's Knols - Total Pageviews - Independent Counter joomla stats